What happens in marriage coaching?
If you don't know, you might be cautious about it, maybe even fearful. What's going to happen in the coaching sessions? The unknown can cause fear and stress. In many cases, we get fearful simply because we don't know what is about to happen. Once we have an understanding of what is going to happen, the fear diminishes.
In this article I will explain what happens in my marriage coaching programs.
What is a Marriage Coach?
Many people confuse marriage coaching with marriage counseling. There is a huge difference between the two and I cover that topic in this blog post.
Here is the best definition I have for what a marriage coach is:
A marriage coach is a highly trained independent 3rd party, that doesn't take sides, and helps mediate, educate, and inspire couples to manage relationship conflicts so they can have the long-term marriage they desire!
Let me break that down for you because it's important.
Highly trained - Marriage and relationships are serious topics. A lot is at stake. You don't want to take advice from someone that is not professionally trained. A certification in Strategic Interventions is an excellent example of intense training.
An independent 3rd party - Married couples are involved with each other. They have a past together. They have expectations for each other. This involvement can sometimes be described like the cliche "not seeing the forest through the trees."
It often requires an independent 3rd party to help each partner see things they can't see because of their close involvement.
Doesn't take sides - A marriage coach doesn't take the side of either husband or wife. The job of the coach is to stay neutral and help each partner achieve their desired results.
Helps mediate - Couples come to a coach because there are issues they cannot resolve. When they come to a coach, they are looking for someone to guide them through a process where both partners can be satisfied with a result.
One way coaching programs differ from counseling is that coaching is for a defined period of time, usually 6 to 12 weeks. The pressure is on the coach to deliver satisfactory results in the time agreed upon in the Strategy Q&A call.
Helps educate - Coaching is an educational process. It helps couples to understand not just how to manage issues, but the why behind it also. The educational process helps put each partner on the "same page."
Helps inspire - Nothing is achieved until partners take action. It may require new behaviors or a modification of current behaviors. Either way, coaches look for ways to inspire couples so the necessary actions will happen on a consistent basis.
Manage relationship conflicts - At the heart of coaching is the discovery and remediation of the root problems causing conflict. This is what separates one-on-one coaching from the various materials available on the internet labeled as marriage advice. Most advice focuses on the symptoms of a problem and not the root causes of the problem.
The marriage you desire - Coaching is goal oriented. Coaching is designed to help transform your marriage from where it is now to where you want it to be.
Solo or Together
Couples that work together achieve faster results than couples with only one partner working to make the marriage happier (solo). When both partners work together, coaching provides a life altering experience.
Saving a marriage solo works well and has its own special rewards. Working solo does take more time and can be very challenging. There is nothing wrong with having a strong commitment to save a marriage. It takes giving a lot until the other partner recognizes the effort and softens their hardened heart.
3 Coaching Steps to Success
Happy Marriage Coaching programs follow a simple 3-step process. Whether the issues include communications, finances, porn, anger, defensiveness, affection, or anything else, the process to achieve a happier marriage follows these 3 steps.
Understanding the Partners
Through coaching sessions, assessments, and exercises, Mark needs to know the partners exceptionally well. Coaching sessions may be with a partner individually or both partners together. Combined with assessments and educational exercises, Mark needs to fully understand each person involved.
Discovering The Root Problems
Long-term success only comes when the root problems are addressed. Often, the root problems are not initially known or understood by one or both partners. The discovery comes from the coaching sessions, assessments and educational materials.
Coaching and Conditioning
Unless there are mental or personality disorders, which is better served by counselors, the partners need to understand that they are not broken. There isn't a pill to take or a part that can be quickly replaced. The focus is on patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Repetition and conditioning new mindsets leads to feelings of empowerment and cooperative behaviors.
Meet Your Coach - Mark Jala
Mark Jala is a certified marriage coach with nearly 40 years of problem-solving experience. Certified in Strategic Interventions, Mark finds that marriage issues, whether porn, defensiveness, finances, communications, or sex, are “surface” issues. Mark finds that the only way to resolve marriage issues for long-term success is to discover and resolve the core problem. Mark, with his Strategic Interventions training and vast experience, transforms marriages filled with anger and frustration to marriages abundantly filled with affection, trust, and security.
Is Marriage Coaching Right For You?
Marriage coaching works. It brings partners together again. It empowers each partner with life-altering ways of thinking. Some of the benefits couples report include:
But here's the important question - Are YOU ready for coaching?
- Are you coachable?
- Can you take instructions and follow through?
- Are you prepared to schedule the coaching sessions, do homework, and complete assignments on time?
- Are you ready to invest in your marriage and yourself?
- Are you ready to start now?
If you answered YES to these questions, I invite you to schedule a free 45-minute Strategy Q&A call by clicking the button below.
In 90 days, where will you be with your marriage? Will it be the same as it is now, or will it be as your heart desires it to be?