Dr. John Gottman practices research based marriage therapy. With over 40 years of experience he has a model that can predict if a couple will divorce with over a 90% success rate. His research wins awards, is peer reviewed, and Dr. John Gottman is considered as one of the top 10 most influential therapists. Dr. John Gottman founded “The Love Lab” at the University of Washington where he studies couples and how they interact in various conditions.
Research is what elevates Dr. John Gottman as a marriage expert. His techniques are not based on his ideas or a limited number of clients. Having studied over 8,000 couples, he has hard evidence to back up his material.
Dr. John Gottman, Seven Principles, and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
In writing The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Dr. John Gottman lays out his research based plan for a happy marriage. Interestingly, his 7 principles tie in very nicely with the other marriage experts featured here on 38 Minutes to Happiness. His 7 principles are:
- Enhance your love maps
- Nurture your fondness and admiration
- Turn toward each other instead of away
- Let your partner influence you
- Solve your solvable problems
- Overcome gridlock
- Create shared meaning
Of course, an explanation of each is in the book and necessary to get the full meaning. Dr. John Gottman is famous for his description of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, or the 4 behaviors that kill a happy marriage. The 4 horsemen are:
These 4 behaviors are very serious. If these exist in a marriage, there is a high likelihood the marriage will end in divorce. If attempts to remedy these behaviors fail, the likelihood of divorce is 90%. Dr. John Gottman has plenty of marriage advice on his social properties.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is one of my favorite and go-to books. Highly recommended.