This article is about how to take your marriage from OK to AWESOME. As a certified coach, I know most OK marriages will never improve. Research also tells me many with an OK marriage will not address the minor problems, and those minor problems will grow to moderate problems. It doesn’t have to be this way. You can have an awesome marriage. It is to those with an OK marriage that I write this article.
Two Challenges of the OK Marriage
The first challenge actually has little to do with your marriage, but rather human nature. An OK marriage is just that, it is OK. It’s not bad. We want it to improve, but it’s OK.
That is the problem.
We don’t take action on the things we want. We take action on what we NEED.
To do this you have to get leverage on yourself and NEED to make your OK marriage an AWESOME one. I have a quick exercise how to do this. I’ll tell you how to get that exercise in just a moment.
The second challenge is not allowing your OK marriage with minor problems become a not-so-OK marriage and with moderate problems. If you do not fully understand the root causes of the minor problems, research tells us the marriage can easily degrade and develop moderate problems. I have a strategy that will avoid this from happening. More on this in a moment.
Differences Between the OK Marriage and the AWESOME Marriage
There are 2 key differences that separate an OK marriage from an awesome marriage: knowledge and action. We do not inherently know how to create a happy marriage. That has to be learned. We may learn by example from our own parents. We may see examples from friends. However, if we really want to learn, we need to seek the experts. I have condensed down what leading marriage experts have found through decades of research and practice into 6 categories. I call them the 6 Pillars of a Happy Marriage.
All the knowledge in the world doesn’t mean anything if it is not put into action. Action is the second key to an awesome marriage. When we can routinely demonstrate through actions our love, loyalty, respect, and commitment, then we are moving in the direction of an awesome marriage.
How would you rate your knowledge and action levels? Consider the chart below.
When looking at the how knowledge and action impacts a marriage, consider:
- Low knowledge and low action spell disaster. In this situation there is a high risk of divorce as the couple does not know what to do, nor willing to try.
- High knowledge and low action is also trouble as there is likely serious doubt the marriage is worth saving, thus the low action.
- Low knowledge and high action lead to frustration. This situation is easy to fix because the necessary knowledge can be learned.
- High knowledge and high action lead to a happy marriage. The amount of action separates the OK marriage from the awesome marriage.
Knowledge-based ACTION is the ultimate cure for an OK marriage.
How do you rate your marriage based on the chart above? Here’s how it works. After reading the 6 Pillars of a Happy Marriage, rate your knowledge level. Then rate the amount of action you take. The score goes like this: Someone who has a 4 for knowledge and a 5 for action would be a 4.5. A couple with a 6 for knowledge and a 7 for action would be a 6.7.
Improving the OK Marriage
A person in an OK marriage will look for ways to spice it up, looking to get it back to how it was. They often turn to the internet and look for marriage tips. The problem with marriage tips is that such tips are just that, tips. They are information. They are random as if pulled out of a hat. What would make one tip better than another? I see a lot of good tips out there. The difference is that with my coaching training I don’t see the tip as a standalone piece of information. I see it as something to be used in a series of step-by-step instructions – a strategy.
A strategy is a proven, research-based method of improving a situation.
A strategy can transform your OK marriage to an AWESOME marriage.
Strategies are based on what is known and proven to work. They have research behind them. Rather than just a random piece of information, a strategy provides a series of step-by-step instructions that have a start and an end. How else can you determine if something worked if you didn’t take a few moments to look at the results? If the actions didn’t provide the results you desire, stop what you are doing and select another strategy or action plan.
I have a great resource for you. I wrote an e-book called OK to AWESOME. It contains my #1 proven strategy. It is free. You can check it out here.
I want you to have this e-book. If you are in an OK marriage, you are in a special place. Like all marriages, it can either improve or degrade. Nothing in life stays the same. What makes the OK marriage different is that you have human nature to overcome and not just a few marriage issues. It takes special action to overcome human nature.
As I mentioned before, your second challenge is to avoid the OK marriage from degrading with moderate problems. Once a marriage develops moderate to serious problems, it takes longer and costs a lot more money to resolve.
Take action now. Take the first step and download my e-book, OK to AWESOME. It is free. There is no charge. In the next 10 days, with my e-book, you can be on your way to the marriage you dream about.