Porn Keyboard

Men have a hard time quitting porn. Once they understand they have to quit, most men resort to common advice and methods. Common advice rarely works. There are proven reasons that explain why. When trying to quit, a man goes through three stages. In this article I explain the progression through the three stages, and how to avoid the pain and frustration of the latter stages.

Stage 1 - Awareness

It may happen quickly, or it may take many years, but men reach a point where they realize that their porn compulsion is a problem. They become aware that stopping is not easy. Perhaps they were caught by their wife or faced a situation where they realize they need to stop. Awareness leads to looking for a solution.

Stage 2 - Frustration

Frustration sets in when several attempts to quit porn fail. Usually, the first attempts to quit porn are fast, easy, and cheap. No one wants to spend more than they have to, so early attempts usually are centered on free or cheap internet ads or articles. When these don't work, frustration sets in. The marriage becomes hostile and contentous. The wife is angry he can't or won't stop. The man is frustrated that his attempts are not working. The longer this stage goes on, the more likely he will end up at stage 3. 

Stage 3 - Hopelessness

Hopelessness sets in when he feels like he can't stop, and he starts doubting there is a solution. It's a form of suffering that comes when he feels the porn habit is out of control and there is nothing he can do about it. Hopelessness attacks the man's ego and identity. He doesn't like having a compulsion. He doesn't like how it upsets his wife. He starts to feel like there is no solution. He starts to feel like a lesser man. 

Hope Comes From Knowing the Facts

There is a lot of information on the internet. One thing is certain - common advice leads to common results. Common marriage advice fails to address the root cause and results in a 45% divorce rate. Common advice about quitting porn also fails to address the root cause and results in a high rate of relapse.

Consider this - by definition, a compulsion alters the thinking of the person with the compulsion. Any attempt to quit porn that has the man try to consciously change the habit when an urge or trigger is experienced is doomed to failure. 

This is why 12-step programs, counseling, cold turkey, and other common methods usually fail long-term. The common result is known as a porn loopback. Short-term results that are overcome by new and stronger urges and triggers.

The only sure way to overcome any compulsion is to address the root cause and do so at the core of the person - their identity and subconscious. 

There are facts about porn that explain why this is true. I put together a special report that summarizes the key facts about porn and how to finally quit. I recommend that you download it and read it today. It's a quick read.  

Quit Porn

...Even if you've attempted going cold turkey, or seen multiple counselors!

  • It's a quick read
  • Learn the 3 problems of porn
  • How to finally quit

About the author

Mark Jala is a certified marriage coach, researcher, and consumer advocate. Certified in Strategic Interventions, Mark bases all of his services and advice on verifiable research. With nearly 40 years of problem solving experience, Mark has developed a holistic approach to marriage coaching which provides a context and execution plan not seen in ordinary marriage services.

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