Men Need to Do More at Home and with Family Meals
Men, it’s time to “man-up” and do more around the house and with family meals. You need to help with the family dinner and other household chores. This isn’t 1950 any more. Your wife is busy and doesn’t just need your help, she deserves it. Times have changed and it’s time to put down the game console and TV remote. You need to do more around the house.
I know I’m going to get some complaints from the guys regarding this post.
Too bad. As a certified strategic interventionist, I see way too often, the guys are not cutting it around the house. If we have agreed to do certain things around the house, we should not wait until the wife reminds us of what we agreed to do, but are not doing. Guys don’t like to be reminded. Men complain that the wife nags them.
Men, if you are not doing what you agreed to do, you are at fault and need to step up. What would happen if you did the same level of work and responsibility at work as you do at home? What if it was your job to make your wife happy? I take a look at that issue in this post.
Pitch in with Family Meals
I recently wrote a thorough post about the importance of the family dinner. In that post I wrote about how times are changing. In that article I wrote:
It’s not 1950 anymore and we shouldn’t expect June Cleaver or Carol Brady to make dinner every day. We have to make a change in family role models. Many decades ago the wife stayed at home, cleaned the house, took care of the children, and cooked the meals. Today, the wife may have a full or part time job, and is still expected to clean the house, take care of the children, and cook the meals. That MUST change. There is an equality now that society has never had before and that equality must be represented in the home. Children and husbands must get more involved in running the household and that includes the important family dinner.
Visit any corporate break room and there’s a good chance you’ll hear some ladies bashing their husbands. Common complaints are that he’s lazy or that he doesn’t do much around the house. He doesn’t help out with family meals. This kind of man-bashing is not healthy for a marriage. These ladies may feel good for having talked about it to a friend, but do they feel better about their husband afterwards? Most definitely not. It does not help a marriage to complain to a friend. It may feel good at the time, but it doesn’t do anything for the marriage. Greg Baer, M.D., author of the book Real Love in Marriage, calls this behavior a Getting Behavior and a Protecting Behavior. We feel hurt and this behavior is a way to get sympathy by playing the victim, and protects us by placing blame on another person.
While that behavior by the ladies is not proper, the men have a lot of work to do. We come to a marriage with a lot of past relationship baggage. That baggage goes all the way back to how we were raised by our mother and father. Today, with technology coming out with cool new devices throughout the year, it compounds with our baggage making it easy for guys to watch TV, play sports, or play a game console. While those behaviors are fine at appropriate times, too many guys are spending way too much time being entertained rather than doing their duties around the house or with family meals.
Helping with family meals is easy! Make the coffee in the morning. Bring out the cereal boxes or fry up some eggs. Pack the lunches. How about making lunch for your wife and leaving her a sweet romantic note in her lunch bag? Bring home flowers for the dinner table. Help cut up the vegetables. Set the dinner table. Clean up after dinner. It’s not hard. All of these activities help your wife out and in turn help you.
Pitch in with Household Chores
Men, you have responsibilities around the house. You need to partner with your wife in running the household. When you do so, without complaint or grumbling, you will be amazed how your marriage will improve. For some, this will be a new way of thinking. It will take a change of attitude. It needs to happen.
Two very popular ladies seem to agree. Watch this video:
Here’s the website mentioned in the video: http://leanin.org/together/
So guys, let’s do this. What has your wife has been nagging you about lately? What’s stopping you from doing it? You have responsibilities around the house. It’s time to man-up and pitch in. Help out with family meals and household chores.