New research suggests there is a best age to get married. The Institute of Family Studies looks at results from 1995 and compares it to 2006-2010. Nicholas H. Wolfinger, a University of Utah psychologist conducted the research. According to the research, the least chance of divorce is to get married in the ages of 30 to 34.
I heard about this research last night scrolling through radio stations coming home from a tennis match. The station was America Now with Meghan McCain. She was freaking out about the research because she is 31, unmarried, and seeing the prime marrying age slipping by her. She continually commented about the stress and anxiety this research was bringing on her. As a marriage coach, I would tell her to… relax!
The Best Age to Get Married
As one might expect, the research indicates the highest risk of divorce is for those under the age of 20. It’s young love. There are so many changes that take place with people as they get out of their teen years and into their twenties. In the last decade we have seen huge differences for this group of folks, and the next 2 groups, as they used to get out of the house quick and start a life, to now staying at home as long as possible, sheltered from the surprises life has to offer.
Success or failure of a marriage does not come simply because you are a particular age. Click To TweetOne noticeable change between 1995 results and the 2006 – 2010 results is the increase in divorce risk for those aged 35 and higher. To me, this is no surprise. Today we are seeing a higher divorce rate for the baby boomers in their 50’s and 60’s. They are divorcing at a much higher rate than previously. Studies on this group suggest that financial stability of both partners is a leading cause. In prior decades the wife would often have to rely on the husband for financial matters. Today, that’s different. With more women in the work force, people stay married because they are happily married, not dependent on their partner. That’s a good.
What to Learn From This Research
The first thing to do is to not get stressed or full of anxiety. It’s not worth it. People get married at all ages and succeed. Unfortunately they also get married at all ages and fail. Success or failure of a marriage does not come simply because you are a particular age. Marriage success comes because you and your partner have the mindset and take actions to make the marriage work.
The second thing to do, regardless of age, is to study how to make your marriage happy, and/or get a marriage coach. If you are going to the gym and working out, you’re doing great. But if you want the best results from your time at the gym, what do you do? You get a personal trainer – a coach. Why? Because the coach will fine tune your work-outs, give you someone to be accountable to, and push you to greater levels than you would do by yourself. A marriage coach does the same thing, but with your marriage.