Username: [wlm_username] / Level: [wlm_memberlevel]
NAV:
Week 2 - Lesson 8
The Power of Commitment
Commitment helps make a marriage work. Yet many see commitment as a dirty word. It's a reminder of failure or not living up to promises. It doesn't have to be. There is power in commitment when it's done properly. Learn some simple ways to make commitment easier to fulfill.
Dictionary.com defines commitment as "a pledge or promise; obligation."
When you got married, you made a vow. Playing a bit of a word game, Dictionary.com defines a vow as "a solemn promise, pledge, or personal commitment."
If married couples promise, commit, make an obligation, or pledge, why do so many marriages end in divorce?
I covered that answer thoroughly in this blog post.
Commitment is an important reason why many marriages continue during hard times. They remember and ACT on their commitment. That is the big difference. Action is required to fulfill a commitment.
All marriages struggle. All marriages go through difficult times.
Too many couples hang it up and call it quits when things get tough. They may call it “irreconcilable differences” or “conscious uncoupling.” They may try to spin it with nice-sounding terms.
But, there is nothing nice about divorce. It’s expensive and painful.
A solid commitment to the marriage helps couples get through tough times.
In the truest sense of the word, when you make a commitment, you are promising it will last until death, AND you will work hard to make it successful.
The "work hard to make it successful" is the difficult part.
I know, there are some of you that want to complain that your partner is the problem.
Those are legitimate issues!
I am not downplaying the challenges of marriage! What I am saying is that marriage is a commitment to work out the inevitable problems.
IT’S A MINDSET!
It’s a way of thinking that helps the couple always strive for solutions.
I recommend taking some time to commit, or re-commit, to your marriage. Here is a 5-step process to do that.
Re-Commit To Your Marriage
These 5 steps outline how you can re-commit to your marriage.
Step 1
Establish exactly what you are committing to, and what that commitment means. It's a good idea to write it out. Be clear about what you are committing to.
When you wrote out your vows, you established what you were committing to. Write them out again. Yes, re-write your marriage vows. Be specific and detail the actions you will take to fulfill the vows.
If your partner is working with you, do this with them. If not, do this by yourself.
Step 2
Create successful habits that enforce your commitment. Take action. Be consistent. Create patterns of behaviors that help the marriage.
Your daily routine should include habits that benefit the marriage. So often we get caught up in doing activities that gets us up, to work, home, fed, and then to bed. We need to include daily activities that help the marriage. They don’t have to be long or time consuming, but there needs to be daily activities that help you fulfill your vows.
Step 3
Review constantly. Don't let little issues fester and get big.
I like a weekly checkup. A weekly checkup as a routine can provide the recurring feedback you need to see if you are on-track, or veering away from your marriage goals. You’ll more about the weekly checkup in a later lesson.
Step 4
Hold yourself accountable, and be accountable to someone other than your partner. You need to have someone other than your partner that you can talk with and share your struggles with. If you are a person of faith, I highly recommend your pastor.
Every month or so you should take some time alone and evaluate what’s going on in your life. Evaluate your career. Evaluate the marriage. Evaluate your health. Too often we keep ourselves so busy that we don’t take the necessary time to do any self-reflection. This is absolutely essential.
When you do your self-reflection, hold yourself accountable. Be honest. Are you doing everything that needs to be done?
Talk to someone else. It can be a really close friend, but even better, someone who’s opinion and advice you respect, like a pastor or mentor. Quarterly meetings to discuss the marriage and life are valuable times to get an honest 3rd party opinion. I am available as an accountability partner.
Step 5
Develop the mindset of long-term constant improvement. Everything either dies or gets better. You have to constantly work to keep the marriage getting better.
The Japanese call it Kaizen, meaning change for the better, or constant improvement.
You’ll hear more about this in Step 3 of RTL.
Imagine for a moment if both partners worked together in a never-ending effort to constantly improve the marriage. The results would be spectacular!
IT ISN"T JUST ABOUT SAYING SOME WORDS!
Commitment requires ACTION. Take action today by doing step 1.
In This Lesson:
- One's commitment to marriage can be the difference between happiness or divorce. Learn the power of commitment and how to re-commit to your marriage.
REIGNITE Progress:
Please be sure to complete every lesson and assessment.
Copyright 2020, Happy Marriage Coaching, a service of 38 Minutes to Happiness, LLC. - Privacy Policy | Terms of Service